The downside to parenting

I have been a father for a little over 6 years now, my son was born in May 04 and then my twin girls were born in October 05. Yes, I have my hands full but it such a rewarding role when they are loving and playing nicely together. They get on pretty well as a rule, as long as it is only two out of the three playing together. Any combination of them works well but as soon as you introduce the third of them into the equation all hell breaks loose. Two's company right?

The downside to it showed it's ugly head again this morning. Illness. I can handle being ill, I am ok with seeing my partner unwell (don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy seeing her ill, I can cope with it though) but I just do not have the stomach to see any of my children feeling or acting under the weather. When they were born you could put me on the changing matt with any of them, regardlesss of how "unclean" their nappies/diapers were, and I would dive in to clean them. If one of them cuts themself I have no problem with being Nurse Dad and tending to wounds. I can not cope with them being ill though. It leaves me feeling complete ineffective and useless. When they have tummy/head/toothache there is nothing you can do to make them feel right. It is not like kissing or rubbing a grazed knee where you can make light of it, make the child giggle and distract them. You can't magic away the feeling of sickness within a child who is too young to understand why theyfeel as they do.

As I write this Madison, my younger twin by 59 minutes, is curled up next to me, feeling downright sorry for herself. She woke my partner in the early hours with the most horrendous, bark-like cough and complained of feeling. Can you remember Spike? Butch's pup in the Tom and Jerry cartoons? Remember the episode where he is learning to bark? That is Madison at this moment. And I am powerless to set her mind at ease. She is running a temperature too and all she wants to do is cuddle up to you.

Thank god my partner is so practical with these things, so matter-of-fact. She has gone shopping at the moment and I can not wait for her to get home. Not because I can not cope, the kids are no problem, I just hate feeling like I am not doing enough even though there is nothing I can do besides feed them the recommended cough syrups at regular intervals.

They never teach you this stuff before the child is born. I don't think we should be allowed to wing it when it happens, I needed warning of this when I signed up to parenting! So I am going to return to the cuddles now, I am good at that and as long as Madison is wanting her daddy's hugs I am sure she will be fine